How do people connect with the older generation?
Have you ever wondered what life was like for your grandparents and parents? How was life different? What can we learn from each other?
Our families are all different and we all connect in unique ways. However, there are some universal ways in which people connect. Old family recipes and traditions are some of the best and most treasured links between generations. We may think of traditions mostly around the holidays however there are many other strong threads to the fabric of our family steeped in traditions that are carefully passed down through the generations.
Many of us treasure certain foods and recipes that were carefully prepared and shared during special family times. We hang on to certain recipes and try to replicate not only the meal but also the feeling around the food that came from the family memory. I still remember the feeling as a kid growing up, waiting for grandma’s pie to come out of the oven while my cousins and I played nearby. In turn, my daughters waited patiently for the pumpkin cookies I made every fall to finish baking in our own home.
A drive through old neighborhoods is another fun and meaningful way to share some history and connection with your family. It is fun to share the stories of “the long walk” you took to school or the games you played with the neighborhood kids on front lawns in summer.
How we celebrate holidays, birthdays, voting, and other cultural norms, reflects our values. An example of this is May Day or May 1st.
May Day was a tradition we celebrated as kids and this was a tradition passed down through the generations. Sixty countries celebrate May Day as a welcoming of spring shared with people in their communities. There are many variations in the celebrations and traditions across the world. In the United States, it is a day of unity, togetherness, a day to share in the excitement of spring.
When I was a child, we made little bouquets of spring flowers delicately wrapped and tied with a ribbon and put them in our wagon. Then walked door to door to deliver them to our neighbors. It was the one day of the year where a ring of the doorbell and leaving before someone answered it was acceptable because the flowers left hanging from the door handle signaled caring and a neighborly gesture of kindness to welcome spring.
To connect across the miles, consider creating a book club to connect and read together.. One of my daughters read a Harry Potter book with her grandfather who lives one thousand miles away. They agreed upon the chapters they would read in a specific time period and then they had a “book club” call to discuss what they read. This was a wonderful for my Dad to connect with our daughter and share in her excitement and in the fantasy and imagination in her childhood.
Sorting through old photos is another fun way to spend some time and link to the past. Photos trigger questions about what life was like and they show how we spent our time when we were young and how we valued our time. The impressions voiced from the younger generation about the “80’s hair” or the shoulder pads and bell bottom jeans are fun to hear. Playing board games, especially the old games we all played while growing up, can spark conversations about memories as well. With the competition for attention from all of the screens and technology today, the simple act of shutting down these screens and playing a board game seems to slow time and deepen conversation and relaxation.
What is a “Generation Gap?”
A generation gap describes the differences in beliefs, values, and attitudes expressed by members of two different generations. One of the main differences in generations today is the use of technology. The pandemic really shed a spotlight on a digital divide. Home quarantine and social distancing forced many into a harsh and lonely isolation and the use of technology became a window many saw as a way to maintain connections. The hard reality of imposed social isolation to avoid the risk of becoming infected with Covid forced many in the older generations to get up to speed with technology in order to remain connected.
With the emergence and dependence on electronics today, the communication preferences and expectations have really changed among the generations. We all use cell phones to connect however the expectations for response times and text lengths vary. The use of emojis can also mark generations or style for some. It may help to talk about these details to sync preferences and communication styles.
As more and more older people in their fifties on up see how the younger generations use technology to make money and live different lifestyles, they see that the younger generations have figured out ways to break the mold of working 9-5 and living a “punch the clock” lifestyle.
What can we learn from the older generation?
The beauty of taking time to learn from each other is that we all have something unique and valuable to offer each other. People in older generations learned perseverance in the face of adversity through the depression and wars. The hesitancy to latch on to fringe political beliefs stems more from real world lessons learned in wars and human atrocities than from political speeches loaded with rhetoric and promise. Values such as manners, patience, saving money, repairing items instead of replacing them are all things we did and still do that can be teachable moments for younger generations.
Who are the important relationships for the elderly?
As we age, all relationships are important. Friends and family rank at the top however community presence is important as well. As families and friends have become more spread out, it is so important to make the effort to connect whenever the chance presents.
The bottom line is the more time spent with each other can bring greater understanding and appreciation of beliefs and values of each generation.
